Tuesday, 26 September 2017

The most important relationship question every woman should ask herself.

The most important relationship question every woman (and man) should ask themselves.

There is chemistry. You can feel it buzzing through you every time your eyes meet. Heart tripping and shallow breathing permeate every interaction. This is exactly what you have been looking for.

It might have been love at first sight, it might have been a slow fire to kindle. No matter how it starts there is a question you need to ask yourself before you jump into that relationship. It’s not, “What barriers do I have up that will stop him from loving me fully?” It’s not, “Is he the one?”. It’s not, “Will he cheat on me?” It's not even, "Am I ready for this?"

The most important question to ask yourself is: “What would it feel like to be his ex?”

Ok, before you hit me with your thoughts on focusing on the negative and dooming the relationship to fail before it even begins, there is some logic in this and it’s not even about breaking up.

How people treat their ex’s is indicative of the sort of person they are. Are they the type to hold on to hurt from 10 years ago and use it like a weapon? Are they likely to still try to have control over their ex, through children, finances or intimidation? Or do they still send their ex a jovial happy birthday text?

Now you may never break up with this person, but there will definitely come a time when you disagree or get angry. How this person treats an ex is like an amplified version of how they have learned to deal with conflict. This is how they will attack or defend themselves in times of high stress.

If it does end up breaking down, especially if you have children together, you might have to live with this behaviour for the rest of your life. So before you commit, ask yourself: What would it be like to be his ex?

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